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Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Bittersweet Blessing


Well everyone, I have some BIG news to share!!! I have been waiting to say anything, and it's been a whirlwind of feelings. I am so completely anxious, worried, nervous, excited... pretty much any emotion you can think of. Yes, I am expecting. :) We found out three months after Caleb's death, and it's bittersweet for me. Dealing with his death and the constant heartache is so hard, and I will always be grieving for my sweet son.
I am 15 weeks along. My ob has been great, and I have had 4 ultrasounds by 12 weeks. And I was able to stop in yesterday, after a talk with my nurse, to get reassurance that the heartbeat is still there. She used the doppler so I could get some peace of mind. It's impossible not to constantly worry.

We have kept it pretty quiet, not many know. The 12 wk nuchal scan and bloodwork came back normal, and the heartrate was at 168 at that ultrasound. I have been feeling great these past few weeks, and staying positive the best I can. I have realized that I want and also need support, love, and prayers from those around me. Next week, Friday April 1st, is my next ultrasound. I will be 16 weeks, and it will be the first look at the heart. We will be able to know that there are 4 chambers, and if everything looks ok. Please pray for: a healthy heart, growth to be on track, and strength.

I am praying that this is our rainbow baby. I know that Caleb is watching over us, and already knows what's in store. I just need to try and sit back, take a deep breath, and take it one day at a time.


~A Rainbow Baby is the understanding that the beauty of a rainbow does not negate the ravages of the storm. When a rainbow appears, it doesn't mean the storm never happened or that the family is not still dealing with its aftermath. What it means is that something beautiful and full of light has appeared in the midst of the darkness and clouds. Storm clouds may still hover but the rainbow provides a counterbalance of color, energy, and hope.~

14 comments:

  1. We are so happy for you, Kyle and Kailey!!! Best wishes to you guys and we will keep you in our prayers. YAY!!!! Love you!!

    Tammy, Jon, Alex, Max, Sam and Megan

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  2. Congratulations! That is wonderful news! You'll be in our prayers.

    Kim (Kirchner) and the fam

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  3. Oh wow Lauren, how wonderful! What a blessing! I can just imagine how nervewracking this is for you. Will be praying for sure. Lots of love!

    Heart Hugs,
    Amy

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  4. I've been so incredibly happy for you all since you shared the news with me. You know I will always be here for you, and you have my support and prayers. This baby is a true blessing. Much <3 and hugs!

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  5. I am just so overwhelemed with happiness for you. You are, hands down, the strongest woman I know. You inspire me everyday and with this, it is no different. My prayers never cease for you and for Baby D. Congratulations on a beautiful Rainbow Baby! And I will say it again, THIS BABY WILL ROCK THIS WORLD!

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  6. God is good! Rejoicing in this new life and precious rainbow baby for your family...I know the JOY this baby will bring. Praying for you as you journey through this pregnancy...may God's perfect peace be with you!

    Love and Blessings~ Rebecca

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  7. I am so happy for you guys. You know if you need anything, let me know. Congrats to your family.

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  8. Lauren,

    I am so happy for you! I'll continue to pray for you, but for another reason, now!!! :)

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  9. Awww congratulations!! How exciting! We will keep you in our thoughts and prayers for your appointment next week!

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  10. ahh.. :) im so happy for you hun, with god all things are possible and i will continue to pray for you and your little one. you are strong and deserve nothing but the best.

    luv ya!! <3

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  11. Congratulations, Lauren! Many prayers and thoughts coming your way as you approach the April 1st ultrasound. Much love to you and your family (and your rainbow baby!)

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  12. Congrats to you all on your rainbow baby! We will keep you all in our prayers and will be thinking of you on April 1st.

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  13. {Squee!} This is so exciting! I love the definition of a rainbow baby-sorrow and joy are two very real human emotions and they are allowed to overlap and coexist. Always, I will be praying like mad for a healthy pregnancy, a healthy baby, and all that good stuff! Much love and hugs!

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