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Tuesday, January 25, 2011

A Life Taken Too Soon

Samuel Louis

Since Caleb's death, I have been overcome with gratitude. So many showed their support and love to us, many of them being people I have never met. They are part of our CHD community, knowing all too well the ups and downs of this battle. Our kids battle life, right from the bieginning, fighting their hardest each day just to be here with us. After Caleb passed, I have had this strong want. To reach out to others, keep up with prayer, and let them know they are not alone. To try and give them encouragement...a ray of light...a piece of hope. I started to look for others who are going down this road.

One of the blogs I stumbled upon, was my dear friend Carlen. I began following along with her pregnancy of her much awaited baby boy. As his birth was quickly approaching, I gave her my number, letting her know that she could call or text me anytime. I realized I was just some random person far away, but I felt a connection with her. Knowing that her HLHS journey was just about to begin, and that I know how alone it can feel.

We began texting, and she would send me updates on little Samuel. He was a little chunk like my Caleb. :) And perfect in every way. Before long, he was 9 days old. I was praying nonstop, knowing that surgery would likely be soon. She let me know it would be that day, and I got the prayers rolling in from everyone I knew. My phone was glued to me all night. I wasn't prepared to get the text telling me my biggest fear. Samuel had left this Earth. I bawled. I yelled. I cried and shook my head. I didn't understand. Another life taken too soon. It just doesn't make sense. Just like Caleb being gone.

People will say, "He's in a better place now."... "No longer in pain..." or, one of my favorites, "God must have needed a little angel...."

Umm...NO. I don't agree with that. Why is here not a better place? How do you know he was in pain? Needed an angel? God has angels up there with him. Caleb will be in Heaven as himself, not some flying angel. I know they are trying to lessen the hurt, and not sure what else to say. But those just aren't things to tell a mother that has just lost her baby.
My heart continues to break for all of those that suffer the loss of their baby. I wish my path had crossed with Carlen under different circumstances...but I was given the chance, and blessing, to get to know her, and try to be there on this journey.
Our precious little Boy,
We will always know your face.
In our hearts and stars forever,
You will always have a place. ~Unknown


  1. I'm so heartbroken for Carlen, too. I wrote a very similar post about our CHD community after I learned of Sweet Samuel passing away, but haven't posted it yet. I feel that we are called to be there for others, too... we can't walk away from CHD just because our children are no longer on earth. There's no way to know what to say or how to comfort someone who has just lost a child until you have truly walked that path yourself. The child loss community is a whole different world once you step into it..
    Prayers and love to you and sweet Caleb <3

  2. I am so sorry to hear of another child passing. Wish I knew what to say or how to help you. Just know you are in my thoughts of everyday and how I pray for you, the family, and the CHD community!!!

  3. It's actually been a terrible month for HLHS babies on 1/24 a sweet little Wyatt also passed away from complications after his Glenn. It's such a horrible disease. I'm terrified to be in your position, but you ladies are so strong that it's humbling.

    Thanks for giving others strength through your writing. Heart Hugs

  4. Kathy-
    Yes, many babies have recently lost their battle with HLHS. I was praying for Wyatt, and so sad to hear the news.