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Wednesday, October 13, 2010

Thursday, September 30th- Surgery Day

Things quickly changed over the next 4-5 hours. Kyle called me from the hospital at 8:30 am, telling me that Caleb would be having surgery today. TODAY!? The doctors just felt it needed to be done; his blood pressure was still low. Caleb was only 3 days old. What a hard morning... My mom, sister, and I raced around the house throwing things together. We dropped Kailey off with one of my friends, and I left her home in tears. Kailey didn't understand what was going on, and didn't want me to leave her. It was so hard, it was hell to hear her crying.

We got to Cincinnati Children's about 10 am. I started to cry as soon as I got to Caleb's side. Just to see the iv in his head, and to know that he wasn't as stable as he'd been. I didn't want to give him to them for surgery, didn't want to hear that 20% won't make it, didn't want to be sick to my stomach with worry for the 5-6 hour procedure. We had no choice. Caleb's broken heart needed to be fixed.

Before we brought him down to the O.R., Kyle and I were able to hold him for the FIRST time. It would be the only time that we held him in our arms while he was alive. It felt so good to feel him close, to smell him, touch him, just be with him. My first instinct was to rock him, but it was hard with all his wires, and I didn't want to pull on anything. So I just held him close, and told him over and over again that I loved him. Mommy's here.
Much too soon, it was time to bring him down for the surgery. It would be a Modified Norwood procedure. His chest would be open after surgery, and a pacemaker would be placed when they closed it. We kissed Caleb, and relentlessly walked to the waiting room. I went straight to the bathroom, got down on my hands and knees, and prayed for our little fighter. We got a private waiting room, and a nurse came in every hour to update us. Every time I heard the knock, I got all shaky and nervous.
Every update was positive!!! :) By about 7 pm, we were told that he was off the heart bypass machine, and doing good. YAY!!! :) THAT'S our boy! Then the surgeon came in, smiling, and told us that the surgery went good. He told us that they were able to do what they intended, and to give them about 45 minutes or so to get Caleb back in his room, and then we could see him. He said that the next 24-48 hours were critical, and they would keep a close eye on him. Such a wave of relief! We thanked him, and went out to text and call everyone. We had no idea that our lives would shatter within a matter of 2 hours.

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