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Friday, December 3, 2010

What We Have Instead

With Christmas on its way, my mind is filled with thoughts of Caleb. I have always loved holidays. They have forever been such a great time, and an excuse to go crazy with decorations. :) But it's only been 10 weeks since he left us, and this pain is overwhelming. I can put on a happy face, smile, and even laugh. But it's not the same. Our son isn't here with us. No presents to buy for him, outfit to search for, pictures to take. No kisses or snuggles. Instead, we are left with a few precious memories. A room that is ready to welcome him, holds his urn instead. This first Christmas without him will be quite the challenge.
But see, I don't want him to be forgotten. That is my biggest fear. Caleb was here, he was alive, he is my son. Mention his name, talk about him, include him day to day. Very few had the chance to meet him, and how I wish that all of my loved ones could have had that opportunity. Lots of hugs and kisses to my sweet boy.


  1. Caleb is constantly thought of in my mind and heart. I was never blessed to meet him but he made such a huge impact none-the-less. Caleb's memory will never fade.....he could never be forgotten. You have every right to mourn over things that will never be but also take time to celebrate all that Caleb brought into this world. I wish I could reach out and give you a daily hug.

  2. Your little boy will not be forgotten. I may not have met him but I think about him and your family often. He is a angel watching over you until you meet again.
    - Melissa

  3. I wish I could have met that angel baby :)