Kyle, Kailey, and I had a private memorial service for Caleb at the funeral home. It was a bright sunny day, which felt so wrong. It should have been storming, with relentless cold rain and dark skies. As soon as we walked in and were brought to the room, I saw it. Caleb's precious urn. Sitting beside him was 3 beautiful blue roses, sent from my parents. 3 perfect roses, for the 3 perfect days he was alive. We brought 3 balloons with us to release in caleb's memory. 2 blue and 1 white. We set them near the wall, and sat down together. The memorial dvd made for Caleb was about to begin. As soon as it was turned on, the tears started. There are no words to describe it. It captured our few moments shared with Caleb, showed our raw emotions, reminded us of his strength. Seeing him on the screen brought me back to being by his side. His cheeks, the softness of his skin, his sweet smell, his hair, ticklish toes, sweet nose.We wrote to Caleb on the balloons, messages from us. Kailey drew him an armadillo. :) That's what she told us, and it was so sweet. We released them, watching them go up into the sky. We watched until we couldn't see the tiny specks against the blue sky any longer. I buried my face into Kyle and just cried. I would do anything to have Caleb here. To have him meet his big sister, to hear his little snorts, to touch his face and kiss him. We love you Caleb. More than you'll ever know.
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